So lately I’ve been losing followers. A lot of them. Everywhere. Of course I tell myself that it’s not about the numbers and to just continue on creating things I love, but it is about the numbers when this is my job and supports our lifestyle. Nothing zaps creativity more than working hard on a video or blog post and not getting a response, or any, on it. It’s like throwing all that hard work out into the void for it to disappear without a trace.
Sure there have been downswings in followers before. I used to blog and create videos for literally no one. But this time feels different. I know what it’s like for people to enjoy my content, so now that they aren’t, it feels personal. I know it shouldn’t be. People’s interests change and they move to doing different things. Yet it feels like I’m losing friends who I used to hang out with all the time. That I’m not interesting anymore or the things I have to say no longer matter. 
This could just be one of those fluke periods that have been known to happen, but what if it isn’t? It’s time for me to figure out if I keep blogging and Youtubing for the love of it, or I take all the time and energy and move it into something more productive. It was different when I had another job that didn’t rely on these little hobbies. But now it’s one big web of interneting and I feel like I’m letting my company and livelihood down by under-performing.
This isn’t a woah is me post to spark pity. I’ve always aimed to document my life and ups and downs. This just happens to be one of those downs. So now what. I don’t know. I’m going to spend a good few hours staring at analytics, looking at my content calendar, and hunting for the next great thing to not only keep my audience happy, but also me happy. Or maybe I take a step away and figure out how to turn this back into something that’s a hobby and no longer necessary for living. 
There definitely is a lot to think about…